I have serious contentions with “economic” perspectives on dating. I think it strips the human element out of dating. And most of these perspectives are based on dating sites, which is an obviously biased sample. Most people aren't on dating sites, and dating sites tend to accumulate certain personality types.
I ripped one of these studies to shreds here:
https://thescienceofsex.substack.com/p/if-women-arent-attracted-to-money
This article was the tip of the iceberg.
I've written about this topic extensively and covered study after study.
https://medium.com/moments-of-passion/yes-women-are-having-sex-no-not-with-you-260113b67ad8
Status is indeed often about much more than wealth or professional success, and yes, those things do count. In this article, I assumed the definition (the type of status I was discussing) was obvious from the examples given—not people who are the kindest at their church or the most active in their chess clubs.
There's a pervasive message that you should work 24/7, make a bunch of money, and then women will be magnetized to you regardless of other traits. This is the myth I was criticizing.
It's bullshit that's highly destructive to the self-esteems of young men.
What really destroys the philosophy of the Tate bros who say money is the key to a woman's heart are the endless lines of dudes I've met in-and-out of prison and rehab, strung out on OxyContin, not a dime to their names, but wildly successful with women.
For every one rich dude with a hot woman I'd be willing to bet there are hundreds or thousands of examples of addicted criminals slaying it.
If the money theory were correct, no poor men would get laid, yet, most poor men I've met had many, many more sex partners than wealthy and middle class men. If you haven't seen this, you've never lived in the hood. lul
The crux is, I sincerely doubt that without chemistry, anyone can fall in love with anyone else or feel deep, visceral attraction for them.
That's the core of my interpretation of all this research and arguably my philosophy: that attraction (or chemistry, whichever you prefer) is the most fundamental trait people look for in a partner.
People on dating sites are usually older, usually looking for things like economic stability. Besides, someone who's educated who also wants an educated partner might be more about what they can discuss. Have you tried explaining yourself to ignorant people? Not a good time.
In closing, I think there's a huge difference between what you're talking about here--people looking for others in their peer group--and the Instagram message that money = dating success, which is what I was criticizing.
How ya' been? Get in touch and fill me in.
